Dear Molly:

If 30 years of Hollywood horror movies and slasher flicks have taught you anything, they should have taught you this:

If you are the pretty but slightly socially awkward new girl at school AND you're sporting a trendy but timeless scar where your psychotic mother stabbed you in the chest AND the most popular, cutest, most athletic boy is giving up the head cheerleader solely to drown you in affection and attention...

...then...

... you are most definitely about to become Satan's bitch.

Just sayin.

XOXO,
CBB-D