Scene: Master Bedroom. Beto is reclined on bed with surgically-enhanced knee propped up on pillow. Catherine enters hurriedly, plops down FedEx box on bed and grabs scissors to open it.

Catherine: I'm so excited! My new facial treatment stuff just arrived. Desperately in need, as you can tell. [Points to constellation of zits on forehead.]

Beto: What about the Kiehl's stuff you've been using for years?

Catherine: It stopped working. Remember, I told you about this stuff. This is the stuff Cate Blanchett uses. I ordered it online because I didn't feel like dealing with the snotty retail clerks at Saks.

Beto: How much did this one set us back?

Catherine: $X.

Beto: [Outwardly suppresses urge to strangle Catherine.] I thought you said it was 1/2 $X.

Catherine: No, I told you it was 3/4 $X. But that was just an estimate. Seriously, this stuff is so slick that the English translation is on the last page!

[Catherine admires pretty, shiny - downright luminous - red packaging. Oooooh, shiny. Shiny and new.]

Beto: Oh, I see.

Catherine: No, tomorrow you will see, when I wake up three inches taller, blonde, skinny, with an Oscar, a new wardrobe and a killer Australian/British accent. You will see, when tomorrow I wake up as Cate Blanchett.

[Contemplative silence.]

Beto: Is Cate a nymphomaniac?

Catherine: [Blank stare.]

[Curtain Closes.]