4.  The Ultimate Happy Meal

Eat some prozac, where the "pro" stands for professional and the "zac" is ex-zac-tly how you want it.  What in the HELL am I talking about?

It's not a happy pill...

No... I am talking about the Ultimate Happy Meal.

Grilled Cheese
French Fries
Strawberry Milkshake


Right coast:  get it at Vancherie's in Havre de Grace, Maryland.

Left coast:  Swing by Skyline Burger... so legitimately old school they don't even have a website.

In between:  I'm not sure, but I'm guessing you've got a little diner somewhere that can hook you up.