Chewing Cardboard's TaskMaster List for 2011: Because Humans Cannot Live on Cheez-Its, Alone
1. GREG LASWELL: The Guy You Need to Listen to, to Stave Off Homicidal Urges while Stuck behind Subaru Station Wagons in Downtown Portland
It might be true that I could be his biggest fan...
AND it might also be true that my good friend Jason was so kind, so generous - so completely hell-bent on ripping away every shred of dignity and self-worth I've managed to hold on to since the ill-fated day of my birth in the Year of Our Lord 1974 - as to introduce me as such...
AND it might be that that introduction was followed by a ridiculously uncomfortable 45 seconds standing in line with Laswell to use the loo... him, and me, and no one else...
And it MIGHT be that following that moment at the toilet, he could possibly be considering a restraining order (I was drunk, I had to pee... I was tongue-tied... it was not my finest moment)...
BUT... you gotta give this guy some love. He is amazing live and incredibly friendly to the peeps at his shows. I mean, he just hangs out in the crowd. Who does that?
You've heard his stuff all over television - you just don't know it's him. And now you do. So, no excuses.
Greg Laswell at Mississippi Studios in Portland, Oregon, avoiding eye contact with the socially deficient bathroom girl and pondering whether to donate his earnings to the installation of a private toilet just for the talent.
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It might be true that I could be his biggest fan...
AND it might also be true that my good friend Jason was so kind, so generous - so completely hell-bent on ripping away every shred of dignity and self-worth I've managed to hold on to since the ill-fated day of my birth in the Year of Our Lord 1974 - as to introduce me as such...
AND it might be that that introduction was followed by a ridiculously uncomfortable 45 seconds standing in line with Laswell to use the loo... him, and me, and no one else...
And it MIGHT be that following that moment at the toilet, he could possibly be considering a restraining order (I was drunk, I had to pee... I was tongue-tied... it was not my finest moment)...
BUT... you gotta give this guy some love. He is amazing live and incredibly friendly to the peeps at his shows. I mean, he just hangs out in the crowd. Who does that?
You've heard his stuff all over television - you just don't know it's him. And now you do. So, no excuses.
Greg Laswell at Mississippi Studios in Portland, Oregon, avoiding eye contact with the socially deficient bathroom girl and pondering whether to donate his earnings to the installation of a private toilet just for the talent.
'