- "Clowns are universally disliked by children"
- "One-ton rodent discovered"
- "Dentist pleads guilty to running body-parts ring"
- "Messed up order sends man into fry rage"
- "Why incest makes us so squeamish" (Serious quote from the MSNBC article: ""It's sort of like a 'Star Wars' story that ends up with Luke Skywalker and Princess Leah marrying each other.")