After several hundred dollars and many years of downloading, I parted ways with iTunes... took a break, so to speak. Cold turkey - no 12 step program. But here I sit stuck in our bunker in the third ring of Dante's Inferno (our apartment), pathetic and bored, all thanks to the writers' strike and Beto's travels to Phoenix. And so I return to iTunes to offer up what is left of my soul. Sweet! All sorts of new stuff, finally.
My favorite part of iTunes is the Celebrity Playlist. It's always a hoot (technical term, btw) to watch the pretty kids doing their utmost to look cool. But sometimes there are some gems there.
Most of the time, though, I daydream about someone asking me to post my playlist. They won't, of course. I can't even get Mac to donate an iPod to charity (although they are admittedly generous to their employees who generously share the generosity with others). I digress.
So, pathetic and bored, I thought a little about my celebrity playlist. Like most everyone, my life is punctuated by music. My first record, at 3, was the Queen 45 of "We are the Champions/We Will Rock You" I think it was around that time that I was rocking out on my Shaun Cassidy plastic guitar, and crying for the KISS dude when he smashed his guitar on TV. I vowed to buy him another one. I then moved on to more sophisticated music - Alvin and the Chipmunks on red vinyl - until discovering my undying love for both Michael Jackson and Rick Springfield. Rick was my first concert... Merriweather Post Pavillion in Maryland. He wore a black and white striped shirt. I was in the third grade and I was in LOVE. But then came Bono and out went Rick... ahhh, the U2 concert in the sixth grade - I was in the 16th row when Bono slipped and dislocated his shoulder and cut the show short. I still have the t-shirt. That was the first of five U2 tours that I've been lucky enough to see. I even paid $150 and went ALONE (see the "pathetic" theme here...) to see Bono speak in Portland. He's the bee's knees (second to Beto, of course).
I've seen lots of great concerts, though probably not as many as I would have liked. Mostly I remember the concerts by the people I went with - I'll never forget the House of Pain show that Kim and I went to, with Biohazard and Korn opening... we weren't sure we'd get out alive. I remember the Luscious Jackson show with Ellen and the Rolling Stones concert (a family event) where my mother yelled across the parking lot "Honey, do you have to go potty?" in front of a Jeep load of cute boys. I think that was in '89 and I still have the emotional scars to prove it. There are of course the long list of local bands that have warmed my heart... among them Cul An Ti, whose pub shows were frequented often with Joanie (attracting the undying attention of the Trenchcoat Mafia) and Claire. Don't forget Clumsy Lovers, and BS&M, a college favorite. And saw Nancy Atlas in the Hamptons with Katie, Claire and Cindy. I saw CrashTest Dummies with a warlock and Depeche Mode with a Republican... not sure which was most embarrassing. I saw Kanye West open for U2 and saw Pearl Jam play in their smallest venue in 13 years, with the love of my life, Mr. Dantas. Sting and Dave Matthews Band put me to sleep, and when Los Lobos opened for the latter, they refused to sing "La Bamba". Ingrates. I mean, what the HELL?
"Sweet Home Alabama" will always remind me of college. Apparently the southerners from New Jersey didn't realize that Virginia isn't Alabama. "Jump Around" from House of Pain and "Root Down" by the Beastie Boys are all about Kim and her penchant for rolling ankles and causing mischief and mayhem everywhere. "Dancing Queen" by Abba invokes memories of a drunk and mildly tone-deaf Cindy, and conjures memories of a very drunk and at all times hilarious Beth. Anything from Cowboy Junkies takes me back to the ranch and the hilarity with Bonnie, Hanna, Pat and the crew. The Doors' "Break on Through" = driving around in the VW Bug. UB40's "Red Red Wine" or Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home" = high school beach misadventures with Becky and Renee (also anything by Karen Carpenter which was mostly definitely NOT my idea). For the high school genre, you might as well throw in "Blister in the Sun" by Violent Femmes. All I see is a kid in gorilla suit tumbling down the stairs screaming "Trick or Treat." (A story for another time.) And who can ever forget New Orleans' best belle Eli, belting out every word to Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"? Throw in Jay-Z's "Can I Get A..." for Joanie and our misadventures at the Monte Carlo. Is Bubba in the hizouse??
There are, of course, the songs that have done me wrong. The Clash convinced me to buy my VW GTI which was eventually stolen and stripped. Kanye West convinced me to buy the Audi, which carried a curse unlike any other. And I knew the house in Gresham was The One because Johnny Cash was on, and it reminded me of my dad. Wrong again.
I could go on and on, but I won't - mostly because I figure that if you've read this far, you're on the verge of shutting down. So without further ado, here's my celebrity playlist. I'll try to keep it to 10.
1. Running to Stand Still by U2. Gives solace to the stuck. Picking one U2 song is difficult. I mean, for God's sake, they are only the greatest rock band in the history of the world. Other contenders: All I Want is You, Until the End of the World, Drowning Man... oh, and MLK, Wake Up Dead Man, I Will Follow and a bunch of others. It's a sickness.
2. Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J. Dude is the man. This song could make the weakest among you want to kick some serious backside. Coincidentally, it was the anthem for our high school senior powderpuff football team, along with "Back in Black" by AC/DC. We lost. I blame AC/DC.
3. Ain't Too Proud to Beg by the Temptations and A Little Less Conversation by Elvis. I know it's cheating to include two in one, but these two have the same effect, which is pretty much demonstrated only in the privacy of my own home.
4. Once In A Lifetime by Talking Heads. This song is the anthem for a generation, perfectly suited to that point in life when you realize you're no longer connected to your youth, and you wonder just how it is that you lost three years of your life to law school and ended up with not a whole lot more than a huge student loan payment.
5. Rapper's Delight by The Sugar Hill Gang. Really needs no introduction. Parachute pants and break dancing and little old ladies in Adam Sandler movies. There's no way you can sit still.
6. Bullet with Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins. "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." I don't think I need to say more.
7. Elderly Woman Behind a Counter by Pearl Jam. If I had to chose between Eddie Vedder and Bono for best voice, I might just have to pick Eddie Vedder because of this song alone.
8. Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds. This song, until the day I die, will remind me of Howard Davis, a professor at RMC who picked up where my dad left off. Nice social commentary, too, if you're interested.
9. New Year's Prayer by Jeff Buckley. Dude has a lot of really fantastic songs, but this one is tops.
10. Return of the Tres by Delinquent Habits. Best Mariachi rap song EVER.
11. Lullaby and One of the Three, both by James. An under-rated band, by far. Lyrics are unparalleled.
12. F.O.D. by Green Day. This is the ultimate kill song.
Okay, I'm at 12, broke the rules, and still have a ton to go and I need to go to bed. Runners Up: "Gone Daddy Gone" by Gnarls Barkley, "Freedom 90" by George Michael, "Natural One" by Folk Implosion (this one definitely deserved to be in the top 10), "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter, "Rocket Man" by Elton John, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," by the Charlie Daniels Band, "Tones of Home" by Blind Melon and "She's a Runaway" by the Bo Deans.
BUT! The one that defies any list is "Song Bird" by Eva Cassidy - the wedding song Beto picked for us, and one that is nearer and dearer to my heart than anything Bono could do...
I'm done. Goodnight Portland.
