It should've been a wedding vow...

"I vow not to make fun of you for ripping through the Twilight books and being ridiculously excited about the upcoming movie, given that I enjoy terrorizing 12-year-olds on X-Box live with my friends from the local county sheriff's office and I want to change my gamer tag to a number code that spells out 'eff off suckers'."


Yes, I think that should have been a vow.

Our Saturday...

Beto and I met some new acquaintances Saturday, on a photo shoot (see below). Suddenly, vegetarianism seems more appealing. I was a vegetarian once, until I realized that I didn't like vegetables. I love fruit, but fruitarians are hard to come by. The doctors say I need more protein, but honestly, it's getting harder and harder to dig into the flesh of a formerly living being. I could eat eggs, but they're just little chicken abortions, the smell is ungodly, and I gag when I try to pull out the little embryo looking thing, which, if I leave in, makes the reflex even stronger. I think that leaves me tofu, edamame and almonds... none of which is particularly appetizing. Well, there's also fish and prawns, but lately fish has left me feeling ill, and let's face it, have you ever SEEN a live prawn? They are seriously creepy mofos.

The woman who owns the chickens (see below) tells me that she actually feeds them chicken, and that in fact, in the wild, chickens actually eat their own eggs for protein. I'm thinking that habit doesn't last long, as chickens in the wild probably don't last long.

Anyway...

Meet... the Pissed-Off Chicken... (Seriously, if I were a chicken, this would just about cover it.)



...the Chicken Inquisition...



mmmm.... chicken....

Haunted House

So help me, our new 'hood is smack-dab out of a horror film. Had no idea that fall/early winter included raging wind, pea soup fog, screaming rain and... I am not kidding... the carnivorous tree against the window just like in Poltergeist. If ever a vampire/yetti/abominable snowman/ghost from The Fog or creepy-ass clown were to jump in front of my car, now would be the time.

Speaking of fall in Portland, here are some shots of my colleague Craig and his baby Russ-Dog.





Yo Quiero What?

So, my friend Byron of Willamette Week fame is a huge supporter of this movie being made in Oregon. The premise... hilarious. Judge for yourself...

The Movie

Flashback

Okay. Here's the gawd's honest truth. I have been so ridiculously busy at work, the photo gigs are picking up (see Danielle and Jeremy's super sweet "Golden Age of Hollywood" wedding pics here), AND I'm so insanely addicted to HBO's new series True Blood and the 8 books it is based on (yes, mildly embarassing, as far as internet confessions go) that the majority of my free time that isn't spent cleaning, is spent on reading. I don't recall when I converted to nerd, but I think Beto and his penchant for all things Star Trek/video game-y has drawn out my inner dork. These books are by no means sophisticated literature, but I figure if they're good enough for Alan Ball, then they're good enough for me. (This coming from she whose vacation reading included The Bell Jar.)

So, all of that said, not much funny has been going on - just plugging away, dreaming of days that were easier... and searching youtube for proof that those days actually existed. So here it is, a smattering of reminders of youth...

"Hello, my name is Simon, and I like to do drawrinks..."







Home of Gary Gnu and the Gnus...





Stay tuned for more...

Hilarious

I have been seriously delinquent in these posts - writer's block or something, but anyway, I found this absolutely hysterical -

Best Tech Support Response EVER

Hi Catherine,

Thank you for contacting SmugMug. Sorry about that. It seems as if the galleries box was stuck. I unstuck it for you. :)

All the best,
Sebastian
SmugMug Support Hero

Unsolicited Recommendation

Something happened earlier this year - I started reading for leisure. Given that I pretty much read all day, every day, reading was never high on my list of things to do away from the office. But, for whatever reason, I started. I started with Into the Wild, moved on to The Lovely Bones, Wicked... and a few truly crappy worthless books (Dinosaurs on the Roof, anyone?)

But now I'm reading - and for the purposes of full disclosure, have not yet finished - What is the What, by Dave Eggers. Eggers wrote it in conjunction with Valentino Achak Deng, a refugee from southern Sudan.

It is a truly remarkable story, and if you're ever interested in putting your money toward something good, check out his foundation. This foundation has absolutely nothing to do with animal welfare, animal rescue or animals in general, so you know it must be pretty extraordinary to catch my attention.

Later, Taters.

Blah.

I'm a bit blog-weary these days, a result, no doubt, of stewing in one's own juices too long. You know when you get on your own nerves, that it's time for a break. I do have photos of Stan's Tater Chuck'n Contest to post, as well as photos from our very recent trip to Montana - a vacation that by Dantas standards was surprisingly unremarkable in terms of woes like flight cancellations, viral illnesses and bug bites.

I'll get to those shortly, but in the meantime, here are some photos of the road to the ranch...



Here's a head-scratcher

Here's one I still can't figure out. Although there is probably ample proof in my personal history that I am not always the best judge of character, I thought I had this guy spot-on. Ridiculously cool, charismatic, genuine, not what you'd expect from a religious leader... so, we hired him to marry us in his church.

I'm not sure how THAT guy, and THIS guy are one in the same.

Pastor, who stole from funds for the needy, must pay up
Gambling and strippers - Members of Rex K. Loy's former congregation talk of his betrayal

My week...

Yes, this just about sums it up...

Kitties

I took some photos today of a friend's cat and her uncle's two cats. This is by far my favorite - hilarious. The big cat is all "...he's standing right behind me, isn't he?"


And here are some shots from home:


"Forest Heights: Where even the bugs pray for your soul."

Bosom Buddies

This weekend Beto and I watched two Tom Hanks favorites from the 80s, with the best, most hilarious scenes ever in two of the funniest movies ever made. Unfortunately, I could find only one of the scenes on youtube - from The Money Pit (funny how he and I now relate to this movie in a different way)... Enjoy...



The other scene is from The 'burbs - also gradually beginning to relate to this one as well... hope to find it soon -

Thank God I'm Married

If you ever bother to check this page (all two of you - hi Mom!) then chances are that you've already received this little internet gem, but it is sooooo good as to require another listing. This is the love story between Olga and Dimitri, two star-crossed lovers destined for a lifetime of happiness...

First Message

Second Message

Don't you just want to find Dimitri and hit him in the teeth with a belt buckle on an icy cold morning? Suddenly, all of the boys pre-Beto don't look quite as horrendous... the stalkers, liars, stalker/liar hybrids, the daddy's boy alcoholics/tortured artists, the trenchcoat mafia, the software engineer who announced in a British accent during our movie that he "had gas" and never said much else, the blind date who I didn't know had Tourette Syndrome - which when combined with my OCD left me counting his every squeak a l l n i g h t l o n g (squeak! 1 squeak! 2 squeak! 3), the date who dumped me into the pool at a formal event, the date who returned from the restroom with toilet paper hanging out of the back of his pants... thank God I'm married.

woah.


Joanie, what's the word?

Bad Day Blues

You know it's a bad day, when you wake up from a horrifically violent dream, get to work to hear the IT guy say "WOW - I've never SEEN a computer do that before" (toll the death knell) and then spend more than 4 hours dealing with a serious con-man... all this the day after sitting through a deposition with an ex-convict who prayed under his breath using what we are certain were profound, yet profane words.

Speaking of con-men, I was greeted this morning with a barrage of emails about our favorite con artist who still owes us a serious amount of money: jackass. I hope cosmic justice serves up a generous dose of comeuppance to him.